The Smarty Mart Adventure's with Ron & Steve
by Stormchaser90
Summary: Escaped animals. Doing price checks. Crazy super-villains dropping by for taking over the world...or just shopping smart. It's just another day's work for employee's Ron Stoppable & Steve Barkin. Episode 2: Raider's of the Lost Aisle is out now. Feel free to R&R.
1. Episode 1: The Crate Escape

_**The release of this fanfic is dedicated to my sister, Tara Louise Salisbury, who turns 20 today on March 18th.**_

_I FINALLY GOT AROUND TO GETTING THIS DONE!...Oh yeah, the disclaimer bit._

_I do not own any characters from the Kim Possible franchise, they remain the sole property of their respective creators...who so totally rock in my opinion. Also I am not making money from this in anyway...unless Bob and Mark want to give me a job that is. Just a little suggestion guys._

_Anyway each chapter is going to be called an episode, either based on the show episodes of Season 4 or original ideas I came up with. Some episodes may be a two-parter. This is going to be my attempt at trying to hone my writing skills by writing comedy, while working on some serious drama in other projects. I been using what I learned for Storytelling for the Screen to give this series a episodic like feel, while making it easier for other's to read. Most of this chapter will be referencing actual episodes, while some scenes written by myself will be added for further comedy between the two leads while scenes from the show will be expanded to give more padding to the story. Most readers who are fans of Steve McQueen will recognise the title parody from one of his more famous films, also see if you can spot the other references to other Kim Possible episodes as well._

_**This episode mainly references the episodes The Big Job and Fashion Victim from Season 4 of Kim Possible.**_

_There may be a few spelling mistakes, so if you see any then let me know and I'll correct them._

_(Edited For Mistakes)_

* * *

><p><em>Senior Island, Midnight<em>

The day was not going well for Martin Smarty, recapping the situation he found himself in on Senior Island. It all started off as a friendly poker game with some of his closest...and _richest_ friends but after hearing commotion outside the doors of the game room they decided to investigate. Upon opening the doors they were met with the strangest sight.

Junior had a young red haired teenager who Martin recognised as Kim Possible in a bear hug, Kim struggling to get free. A woman in with jet black hair, light green skin and wearing a black and green jumpsuit was picking herslef from the ground, muttering furiously while a young man was hanging onto the ledge of a pool pit, filled with hungry alligators. When confronting them all and learning of Junior's kidnapping plot for a billion-dollar-a-head-ransom, they were not too happy about it...except for Senior when he learned it was a brithday present for him, enjoying a heartfelt father/son moment...until Senior noticed Shego.

"What is she doing here?"

"Relax pops, Junior came up with this one all on his own," Shego said. "It was actually a good plan, aaand...it still is!"

Moving with blinding agility, the mercenary dashed forward and grabbed the owner of Smarty Mart, holding a glowing hand to the side of his head. As she backed over to the edge of the gator infested pool with her hostage, Kim and Junior rushed over to stop her while Ron still hung onto the pool pit for dear life.

"Sidekick still in danger here!" He yelled, keeping an eye on the deadly reptiles as they moved closer, one of them attempting to eat him. "HEY, STOP THAT!"

"Give it up Shego, it's over!" Kim warned, assuming a combat stance.

"Yes, you saw how pleased father was with his gift," Junior said. "You can stop now!"

"Oh no, no, no," Shego said, grinning evily. "Somebody owes me my billion!"

It was then that the sidekick in his attempt to escape the pit, instinctively grabbed her leg and pulled himself up, sending Shego falling into the gator infested pit with a splash as he climbed out, gasping for breath.

"Ah, made it!" Ron gasped.

"Junior, make sure your lady friend does not hurt my alligators," Senior said to his son.

Shego gave him a look of disbelief at what she heard. "ME?...HURT _THEM_?"

Ron giggled as the star struck teen went over to the Smarty Mart owner, Martin Smarty, while holding out a copy of his book. "Mr Smarty, can I get your autograph? I read your book three times!"

Smiling at the young man, Martin took a pen out and began signing the book while Kim went over to Ron.

"Good job Ron," His girlfriend said, patting him congratulatory on his back. "You saved him!"

"I did?" Ron asked, suddenly realising what he done. "Oh..yeah, I did!"

"Ngh...seriously," Shego said, grappling with a gator's opened mouth. "A hand?...gah...Anyone?...urgh...THESE THINGS HAVE _TEETH_!"

Martin smiled, looking at Ron with respect at the talent the young man had shown.

"I like to reward people who save my life."

"And I like to be rewarded!" Stoppable said excitedly. "Did you hear that, KP? A REWARD!"

"How would you like...a job?"

Ron's face turned to that of confusion, while Kim was overjoyed at the reward her boyfriend earned.

"Uh...maybe we have different thought's on that word _reward_," Ron said, until his annoyed girlfriend elbowed his side. "OW!...Oh...right, a _job_. Yeah, that would be great. Wow...thanks."

"Outstanding! You are the type of go-getter I need on the Smarty Mart team," Martin Smarty said, holding his hand out to Ron. "Welcome aboard!"

On that night, history was made as Ron Stoppable extended his hand, shaking hands with Martin Smarty while Kim watched with pride as her boyfriend finally got...a job.

* * *

><p><em><strong>STORMCHASER90<strong>_

_**PRESENTS**_

_**THE SMARTY MART ADVENTURE'S WITH RON & STEVE**_

_**SEASON 1**_

_**-EPISODE 1-**_

_**THE CRATE ESCAPE**_

* * *

><p>While on duty at the Middleton Smarty Mart, Ron leaned against a pillar in the house wares department as he spoke to Kim on the phone, his girlfriend calling to talk about her day so far.<p>

"_Huh, fall collection...I am not jealous...nope..no jellin here_," Kim's voice spoke through the speaker's of Ron's cellphone.

"Woah, okay from the beginning here KP," Ron said, still slacking against the pillar. "Y'know I'm at work, I got nothing but time!"

"_Well it all started when Coco Banana..."_

"Woah, sorry Kim, gotta go," Ron interrupted her, as a dark haired Smarty Mart employee arrived with a loading trolley, on it was a cage filled with three lemurs. "The lemur's are in. I'll talk to you later KP."

Hanging up and placing the cell in his pants pocket, Ron took over and started to take the lemur's over to the pets section. A sly thought came to mind and he broke out into a run, giggling as he jumped up the back of the trolley, getting a free ride from the inertia.

Coming up from another ailse, Steve Barkin carried four blue feather pillows as he made his way to the house wares department. As he stepped on the central ailse, Steve let out a gasp as Ron hurtled towards him, crashing into his off duty principal. The wrecked pillows falling to the floor as feathers escaped from them.

"AARRGH!"

Brushing aside the tail of a lemur sitting on his head, Steve Barkin found he was sitting in the lemur cage while the ring-tailed primates made their soft cackling noises. Ron was sitting on the ground, a little stunned from the crash.

"Stoppable!"

"M..Mr Barkin?" Ron asked, a little confused.

Before anymore could be said, a squeeky voice from the store tannoy system filled the air and caught the two employee's attention.

"_Price check on Pop Pop Porter's Freeze Dried Chicken Fried Steaklettes!"_

Heading over to the products in question, standing side by side, the duo each picked up a box of the Steaklette's. Checking the price they both reached for their walkie-talkies, switching them on and bringing them to their mouths.

"Two for a dollar ninety-nine," They said in unison, their eyes widening in surprise as they pointed at each other. "You work here?"

"House wares, fourteen years since June," Barkin said, pride in his voice.

"Pets, fourteen hours this week," Ron answered back, although still confused to why his principal was there. "But..but...why are you.."

"The gig at Middleton High is just for the benefits," Barkin explained, raising his arms as he gestured around the department they were in, as a proud smile formed on his face. "But this, is my true passion."

"House wares?" Ron said, stifling a laugh. "Really?"

"Helping a customer choose between a muffin pan and a mini-muffin pan, too beautiful for words," Barkin said, placing a hand over his heart as he felt the warm feelings of satisfaction, before snapping to attention. "Uh oh! Store manager!"

Standing next to Stoppable and brushing himself down, he made himself presentable and Ron saw the reason why. A short, heavy set man wearing a orange management tie walked over to them, wearing spectacles and smiling at them with a kind expression.

"Yeah, good hustle on that price check mah boy," He said in a strong southern accent.

"Ah..well thanks Mr Stockwell."

"Not you Barkin, our new employee!" Stockwell corrected, putting a hand on Ron's shoulder. "The one with promise and potential. A clear candidate for employee of the month!"

"That..would..be the bon-DIGGITIEST!" Ron said, punching the air before confusion took hold of him. "But wait..how would that work, today being the sixteenth and all."

Stockwell laughed at Ron's unintentional joke, further impressed with the young teen. "And a sense of humor to boot. You are going places son."

As Stockwell walked off to continue his duty, the same voice that spoke earlier on the store tannoy filled the air, catching the two employee's attention.

_"Clean up on ailse twelve! Code T!"_

"T. Toxic," Barkin said to himself, a sly grin on his face. "He's right Stoppable, you _are_ going places. Ailse tweve! Don't get any on ya."

Handing the blond teen a mop, Ron sighed dejectedly at the cleaning he was going to do.

"Yes Mr Barkin, I...hey...just a minimum wage minute," Ron said, catching onto something peculiar and pointing at Mr Barkin's tie. "No orange tie, no authoratage!"

"What are you babbling about?"

"Management wears orange ties Mr B _aaand_ you, no orange tie!" Ron answered, dropping the mop to the ground. "Translation. You...are...not...the...boss...of..._me_!"

Ron had his eyes closed, smiling while his arms were crossed until Rufus jumped up and tapped his head. Opening his eyes, he realised he replayed that pleasant memory of yesterday's work in his head at the worst possible time...at school.

"Ohhh, school...yeah..uh you are the boss of me," Ron said admittingly, grinning sheepishly at Mr Barkin.

"And you're writing that five hundred times on the chalkboard _today_ in _DENTENTION_!"

**-RS & SB-**

The next day at Smarty Mart in the pets department, Ron was playing a game of Poker with one of the caged gorilla's, concentrating before making his move.

"Full house! A-BOOYAH!" Ron yelled, before the gorilla threw her cards at Ron's face in annoyance. "ARGH! Now, Dixie! Sore loser doesn't exactly say 'take me home!'"

The gorilla stepped closer to cage and roared loudly, shaking the cage in frustration while Ron was sitting there unimpressed, with his arms crossed.

"Hey, hey! Now someone needs a T.O!"

Stockwell heard the commotion from across the store and went on closer to investigate, followed by Mr Barkin.

"Now what is going on here?" Stockwell demanded.

"Clearly the new kid is agitating the stock, the live stock," Barkin said, sounding non too impressed, hoping Stoppable would get into trouble. His hopes were short lived when a small eight year old blond boy, wearing a Middleton Space Center Rocket Boosters Club jersey with his mother, pointed to Dixie the Gorilla.

"Mommy, mommy! I want an angry gorilla!"

"Okay darling, let's get a shopping cart," She said, heading off to find one large enough. Barkin frowned with annoyance while Stockwell went over to Stoppable, just as the young man was placing a small crate of baby lemurs onto the desk in front of Dixie's cage.

"Nice sales strategy son!" Stockwell said, impressed at the ingenuity Ron shown, completely oblivious to how accidental it was.

"Heh, heh...yeah well, sometimes it just comes to me."

"But did you check the roster?" Stockwell asked, pointing to the paper in his hand. "You got stockroom duty today!"

"Really? I thought I was supposed to move these lemurs?"

"No need mah boy, we are running a speacial," Stockwell explained. "A free lemur with every coffee maker! We can't keep the little furballs in stock."

Heading over to Barkin with Stoppable, Stockwell gestured to the young teen.

"Barkin, show our _star_ salesman where the stockroom is."

"Ha, ha, ha...my pleasure," Barkin said, trying not to alert Stoppable to the organisation nightmare he was heading to as he placed an arm around Stoppable's shoulder's. "Right this way..._star_."

"Aw..gee Mr B, that's nice of you considering since you don't have an ounce of controlage over me and all."

Walking over to the stockroom of Smarty Mart, Mr Barkin opened the doors and grinned evily as he shown Stoppable inside the room.

"Welcome to the junk heap," Barkin said, enjoying the very shocked and surprised look on Stoppable's face.

The entire room was filled with stock for various different departments, one of the ailses of the giant stockroom had car tires and boxes on one side while another side had more boxes, with a basketball on the ground. It was more untidy than the garage at his house and more terrifying than any villains lair.

"I have to organise all this stuff?" Ron asked in disbelief.

"Well for someone on the fast track to employee of the month, I'm sure you'll have it whipped into shape in no time!" Barkin said, enjoying every moment of it until the tannoy disturbed his amusement.

_"Price check on Cotton Setine Dust Truffles!"_

"Fourteen or eighteen inch drop?" Barkin asked himself, deep in thought from that difficult situation. "I better take this!"

Leaving the room, Barkin closed the door while Stoppable stood frozen in shock, wondering how he was going to sort all that junk.

**-RS & SB-**

The next day at Smarty Mart arrived, along with another shift at sorting the stock in the stockroom. While Rufus, wearing a smaller version of the red employee vest, sold pets to customers Ron was taking a break and enjoying a soda in stockroom. The door opened and Barkin saw the relaxing teen, a looking of annoyance on the older mans face. The room still looked disorganised, in fact it looked more disorganised than ever.

"Stoppable," Barkin said, in a condescending tone of voice.

"Hey Mr B, just taking five," Ron said, taking a sip of his soda.

"Question. Just when do you plan on beginning the _actual_ work?"

"Hey, excuse me! I just spent the last two sixties organising this stuff into three piles!" Ron argued, pointing to each individual pile. "Miscellaneous stuff. Other miscellaneous stuff and stuff that I might want to buy with my discount. Two percent off, right?"

"Stoppable, get this into your nacho cheese head," Barkin said, using a fist to knock on Ron's skull. "Every item must be logged and shelved according to _department_, not _personal preference_!"

"Aw man, now you tell me!" Ron whined, kicking a set of tires at the bottom of a tall, dangerous pile in frustration and watching the tower of junk start to tremble. "Actually, I should _not_ have done that!"

Toppling over, the pile of stock came crashing down and swept the two employees into a moving avalanche of chaotic junk, crashing through closed shutter doors and sending the two employees flying into a large crate.

"AAARRGHH!"

Landing heavily onto cardboard boxes, Stoppable managed to get sit himself up and smile with relief while Barkin didn't look too happy.

"Whew, close one. I thought for a minute we were going to be trapped in the stock room."

A shadow suddenly fell on them and they looked up as the automated shipping robotic arms began sealing the crate, much to Barkin's annoyance.

"Yeah, lucky us," Barkin said sarcastically. "That would be much worse than being TRAPPED IN A CRATE!"

With the crate loaded onto a delivery truck, the driver began to drive off to his destination, unaware of the two occupants trapped inside.

**-RS & SB-**

Trapped in darkness for what seemed like hours, a set of eyes looked around while the other set just stared icily at the ones belonging to the young man. Ron whimpered as he continued looking around, getting desperate.

"Eh..ngh...ugh...there's no way out Mr Barkin!"

"Stop your squirming Stoppable and look for a light source!" Barkin snapped.

"Well it's sort of hard to focus with a flashlight wedged in your back! Paaaain...OW!"

"GIVE ME THAT!"

Snatching the flashlight and switching it on, the beam of light illuminated the two men, showing the face of a very relieved Ron Stoppable.

"Thanks Mr B, much better," Ron said, his smile turning to surprise when he saw what appeared to be a days worth of stubble on Barkin's face. "Mr Barkin...your stubblage..it's...oh...HOW LONG HAVE WE BEEN IN HERE?"

Barkin sighed, casually checking his watch. "Oh, about ninteen minutes, I..uh..have to shave often."

"How often?" Ron asked.

"Uh about fifteen times a day, now will you cut the chat while I formulate a plan?"

"Already got one," Ron said, turning suddenly and banging his fists on the side of the crate. "HEEEELLLLP! SOMEBODY HEEEEELLLLLP!"

"Thaaaat's not a plan."

"Not the boss of me," Ron said to Barkin quickly, before resuming his futile plan. "HEEEEEELLLLLLP!"

Already annoyed at the screaming teen, Barkin grabbed Stoppable and placed a hand over his mouth, silencing him instantly.

"No one can hear us man, it's just you and me," Barkin said darkly, the dramatic silence broken by the sound of a moo. "And that cow."

Letting go of the young man, they stood in the silence while Ron looked at all the merchandise. He then began to wonder what possible reason that stuff was in the crate for.

"What is all this stuff anyway?"

"It appears to be returns," Barkin explained. "Merchadise that has been returned."

Suddenly the crate began to shake violently and Stoppable's eyes widened with fear, unsure what was happening.

"Where does it get returned to?"

"TO THE RETURNS WAREHOUSE...OVERSEAS!"

The shaking intensified until they realised that the crate was on a plane and it was in the middle of take-off. As the plane rose into the air, they screamed in terror as the cow came tumbling towards them. Once the plane leveled off, the employees began to sort themselves out of the pile of junk they were buried under, with Ron taking large frilly green womens underpants off his head.

"Aw man...that is so WRONG!" Ron cried, throwing it into a corner of the crate. "Talk about bad stylage too. Hey, Mr B? You okay over there?"

Barkin pushed a load of boxes off himself, a large toilet brush jammed into his mouth which made Ron go slightly green at the sight. With a great deal of effort, Barkin managed to get the brush out of his mouth, dripping with his saliva.

"Relax Stoppable, it hasn't been used," He said, before eyeing the brush suspiciously. "At least...I _hope_ it hasn't been used."

Shrugging and tossing it aside, the sound of the cow alerted them and investigated a large pile of boxes, working in tandem to free the bovine creature. With a shake of its head, the cow trotted over to corner of the crate and lying down on a pile of Faux Fur Car Covers for comfort. Sitting down on a box filled with returned Yodelling Alarm Clocks, thankfully they didn't have batteries in but it was fairly uncomfortable to sit on.

"So uh...you got a plan to get us out of here then?" Ron asked, as his co-worker sat deep in thought. "Anything?...Anything at all?"

"Don't you carry that...uh...whatchamacallit...Kimmunicator?" Barkin asked. "We can call Possible for help and get out of here!"

"YES...KP SAVES THE DAY AGAIN!" Ron said, patting his pants pocket to find the spare Kimmunicator but to no avail. "Oh...wait...uh...oy vey."

"Aaand Stoppable manages to ruin it, _AGAIN_!"

"HEY, IT MUST'VE FELL OUT OF MY POCKET! HELP ME LOOK FOR IT, WILL YA MR. B?"

A mad search began as the two began to try find the Kimmunicator, over turning piles of merchandise until they found what they were looking for. Unfortunately the small device was shattered by a Heavy Duty Garden Gnome, its beady eyes staring at Stoppable.

"Great...just great," Barkin sighed, sarcastically appaulding Stoppable. "You really know how to make a bad situation _EVEN WORSE_!"

"Hey..don't blame me, it...it...it was that gnome!" Ron yelled, pointing at the garden ornament. "These things are evil, ya hear me? EVIL!"

"IT'S A TINY STATUE! HOW IS THAT EVIL?"

"TRUST ME...I KNOW THESE THINGS, LOOK!" Ron snapped, pointing at the small figure. "IT USES IT'S CREEPY EYES TO PSYCH US OUT!"

Barkin looked at the tiny ornament and nodded in agreement, it did have a sinister look to it. He could have sworn that the eyes were moving as well.

"Sweet hail mary, THAT THING _IS_ PSYCHING US OUT!" Barkin cried, dragging the young teen being a large pile of boxes for cover. "We got to take that thing out before it drives us over the edge!"

"Are you crazy? That thing will get us!" Ron gulped, leaning back against a large pile of boxes that began to wobble. "Oh man...NOT AGAIN!"

"TAKE COVER!"

The tall pile of boxes began to lose their balance and toppled over, crashing down and sending up a small cloud of dust. Coughing as they swatted the air to clear the dust, Ron and Steve looked at the devestation caused, smiling at the result. The gnome was buried.

"Excellent work Private Stoppable!" Barkin said, suluting the young teen. "I'll make sure you get a medal for this."

"Wow...gee thanks Mr.." Ron said, until he suddenly caught onto something. "Wait..._Private_ Stoppable? Mr B, uh...you feeling alright?"

"I'm fine Stoppable, you're just lucky you have an experienced veteran who knows the rules of survival," Barkin answered, his eyes exploring the environment they were in. "I may not be in the army anymore but the skills I acquired will keep us alive until rescue comes."

"Yeah...hey I been wondering...how'd you leave the army Mr B?" Ron asked. "If that's not to much of a personal question, er...sir."

"Discharged on the grounds of my psychological health...they said I was too _unstable_ in tense situations," Barkin explained. "Load of hewey in my opinion, I can keep my cool under pressure. Now you sit tight...I got this all under control. This crate isn't going to get to me!"

Ron sighed and sat down at the other side of the crate, thinking about the situation they were in while Barkin began to formulate a plan.

**-RS & SB-**

_Five minutes later_

Ron sat to one side of the crate, his legs tucked up to his chest as he rocked back and forth while Mr Barkin was throwing junk around, looking for something to use. Already Barkin's facial hair had grown to a length that would normally be associated with a few months growth.

"Oh...I can't believe we're heading overseas!" Ron whined. "We could end up in a whole other country!"

"Stoppable, quit your whining and give me a hand with our base camp," Barkin said, handing Ron a bright red stilleto shoe. "Here, use this trenching shovel to start our herb garden!"

Ron looked at Mr Barkin with a mix of uneasiness and confusion, worried about the mental condition of his co-worker.

"Herb garden? Uh, don't we need like _herbs_ for that..and y'know a _garden_?"

"We'll harvest the soil from our socks!" Barkin explained, holding up a pair of socks in each hand, the bottoms bulging with accumilated filth.

A short uneasy silence filled the air before Ron finally spoke, his tone of voice sounding a little nervous. "Uh..Mr Barkin, you feelin' okay? Heh, uh...this crate isn't getting to you, is it?"

"OF COURSE NOT!" Barkin yelled, before suddenly looking confused. "But why do you keep calling me that?"

"Mr Barkin?" Ron said, a mix of confusion and cocern in his voice. A moo filled the air and Mr Barkin wrapped an arm around the cow's neck and brought him over to Ron before pointing at it.

"HE'S MR BARKIN!" He yelled, giving Ron a deranged stare.

Ron sat frozen on the spot, petrified as he stared at the crazed man before him before talking to the cow to humor Barkin. "Moo?"

_Okaaay, this is gonna replace the lion incident at the zoo from my nightmares,_ Ron thought.

Playing along with the man's request, Ron started to use the stilleto to start creating the garden as requested, pouring out the dirt in Barkin's socks into a plant pot. Fighting his gag reflex, Ron then began to loosen the soil with the makeshift shovel.

"Ew...oh this...is...so...wrong," He whined, as he continued digging. "Just what sort of herbs are we going to be planting anyway?"

"I found these in a small box not too long ago," Barkin answered, jars of dried seasoning in his hands. "We can plant these to grow a food source."

"Uh...Mr B, I don't think..." Ron began to say, stopping when he saw the unstable look in Barkin's eyes. Deciding to keep his mouth firmly shut, Ron continued with the digging while Barkin began shifting boxes to create a defensive perimeter for the base camp. The smell of the soil filled Stoppable's nostrils and he pinched his nose tightly shut, holding his breath while digging with his free hand. Once the _soil _had been loosened, he dumped the dried seasoning in there and buried it before scampering over to the other side of the crate.

"Uh Mr B...have you got an escape plan?" Ron asked, while the deranged man finished making the perimeter. "Anything at all?"

"We'll have to split up in different directions," Barkin said. "Maybe the natives in the area can help us."

"The..._natives_? Uh...I don't think we got anyone else living here."

"You head south and circle around to the west, I'll head north and circle to the east," Barkin ordered, completely ignoring Ron's comment. "We'll keep in radio contact on anything we encounter."

"Uh, radio contact?" Ron asked, completely baffled at what his principal was saying.

Barkin held out two toy walkie-talkies, both pink in color and had a picture of a blue pony jumping over a rainbow on the back. Seeing his co-worker was deadly serious, Ron picked up one of the radios and put it in his pants pocket. Splitting up, they began to explore the the confines of the crate.

**-RS & SB-**

Ron pushed a large box aside, full of the defunct Dr D's Cranial Rinse, apparently a box was lost in the store room but recently found and immediately returned. Once the large box was moved aside, Ron was face to face with what appeared to be jungle foliage.

"Wait...what?" Ron said to himself, pushing through the ferns and finding himself in an area of the crate filled plants. "Woah, must have come from the Garden Care department. Wonder why all this was returned?"

His question was answered by a sinister hissing noise behind him, a chill going down his spine in complete terror, wondering what it could belong to. Turning around slowly, he saw a large venus flytrap plant looming over him, a foul liquid dripping from its mouth.

"AARGGH!" Ron screamed. "MUTANT VENUS FLYTRAP!"

The teen cried out in terror, dodging the snapping plant as he ran for his life, tripping over a large plant root and slamming to the ground. When he opened his eyes, he saw a very familiar tiny plant that he recognised from his Wannaweep days.

"POISON OAK!" Ron yelled. "AW MAN, WHY ORDER THAT IN THE FIRST PLACE?"

Exercising extreme caution, Ron made his way around the Poison Oak before pushing past a large fern and walking right into the side of the crate, rubbing his nose in annoyance. Grumbling under his breath, he began to follow the outer wall of the crate and headed east, hoping to find something useful to get him and Mr Barkin out of the crate. He found an unmarked box and curiosly opened it up, finding it to be filled with...

"POTATO CHIPS! BOOYAH!" Ron cheered, picking up a bag and opening it. Taking a handful of the chips, he crammed them into his mouth and immediately went green in the face. Spitting the stuff out of his mouth, he looked at the outer packaging.

"Ew...Meat Cake flavoured!" Ron whined, noticing the other bags were of the same flavour. "I hate Meat Cakes!...Pretty darn strange considering I never ate them before...I think. Meh, what else we got here then?"

Opening another box he found blocks of Yak Cheese, to which he gave it a taste and immediately spat that out.

"Urgh...yuck! Man, I can't believe I spat cheese out...ugh...but on the other hand, _that_ was seriously gorchy cheese...BLAH!"

Trying one more box Ron found cans of soda that he eyed with suspicion, picking one up he saw that the label was all in a language he couldn't understand. The notice on the front was that it was being returned due to the Russian language cans were delivered by accident instead of the English cans. Not wanting to risk more disgusting stuff assaulting his taste buds, Ron placed it back in the box and began continuing to explore for a means of escape.

"Meh, I bet that soda was bad tasting anyway," Ron said to himself, moving along and checking the other boxes in the crate.

** -RS & SB-**

_Meanwhile at the Middleton Smarty Mart_

At a sampler stand, a young woman with short blond hair was smiling at shoppers passing by and offering them free samples of the soda cans. A middle-aged man wearing a business suit passed by and stopped, his interest caught by the cans.

"Now what's this?" He asked, looking at the cans. "Can't seem to read what these say."

"It's a new brand of apple & blackcurrant soda from Russia, highly refreshing," The woman said. "Care for a free sample?"

"Sure, I'll give it a try," The man said, taking a can of soda and opening it up. As soon as he took the first sip a smile formed on his face. "Wowzer's! This has to be the best soda I've ever tasted!"

**-RS & SB-**

As Ron continued to rumage through the boxes, the radio walkie talk went off and the young blond teen answered it.

"Hey Mr B, what's the sitch?" Ron asked, listening to Mr Barkin's whispered response.

"_I found the local natives of this land and I'm observing their behaviour at a distance,_" Barkin's voice answered. "_Get over here and help us make contact, if we establish a peaceful link then we might be able to co-exist until re-enforcements arrives_."

"Wait, there are other's in the crate?" Ron asked, a little taken aback. "Who else was stupid enough to get stuck in here?"

"_Stoppable, hurry up and GET OVER HERE NOW!_"

Swtiching the walkie-talkie off, Ron back tracked through the plants and avoiding the mutant Venus Flytrap, heading towards the side of the crate Barkin was exploring. Squeezing through a small gap between two large, heavy boxes, Ron found a makeshift path and began to follow it until he was grabbed by the collar and yanked into a small space, while a hand clamped itself over his mouth to stop him from screaming. Ron tensed up but immediately relaxed when he saw Mr Barkin and shot him a look of annoyance.

"Will you stop doing that?" Ron whispered harshly. "Why'd you do that anyway?"

"You'll need a symbol of peace before we make negotiations with the natives here," Barkin explained. "Use these to help build peaceful connections with them."

Ron's eyes widened in surprise when he was given a bundle of friendship bracelet's and giving his mentally disturbed co-worker a nervous glance. Barkin pointed down a small gap between two large boxes.

"Through there are the other's, you'll have to talk to them nice...and...calm," Barkin whispered, keeping his distance. "I hear the natives will eat you alive if you insult them. Now remember, Operation Desert Trout's success is relying on your success."

"The other's...will eat me?," Ron gulped, when a look of confusion fell upon him. "Operation Desert Trout? What's that?"

"Enough with the chit chat and get your butt over there," Barkin ordered, shoving Ron foward towards the gap between the boxes. Stumbling forward, Ron held out the friendship bracelets in front of him while hoping the other's won't hurt him.

"I come in pea..." Ron began to say, until he saw the 'natives' before him. "...you gotta be kidding me." Right before his eyes was a box filled with rubber chickens, completely harmless.

"Mr B?...These...these are rubber chickens," Ron said, looking a little awkward.

"Rubber chickens?" Barkin said, a look of confusion turning to pure terror. "RUBBER CHICKENS? SWEET HAIL MARY, I SENT YOU ON A SUICIDE MISSION! GET OUT OF THERE!"

"Mr B, they're just rubber chicken's...look, they don't mean us any harm," Ron explained, saying it in a tone as if speaking to a child. "Look, I'll show you."

Stepping closer to the box, Ron picked up one of the chickens and poked it with his finger, giggling at the squeeking noise it made.

"You're not going to hurt me, are you?" Ron asked it, chuckling at the fun he was having. "You're just a dumb, harmless rubber chicken."

"STOPPABLE, GET OUT OF...wait a sec," Barkin said, glaring at Stoppable icily. "So...you finally shown your true colors."

"What are you talking about Mr B?"

"You've gone over to the other side, haven't you?" Barkin said accusingly. "I got it all worked out. By working as a spy, you'll be rewarded with mugs of hot chocolate while you give them the locations of our trout shipment, allowing our comrades in the desert to starve!"

"You know I would never...wait..what?" Ron said, trying to figure out how Barkin came up with that theory. "Uh...Mr B, maybe you should...like uh...sit down for a while?"

"Oh no you don't! You want me to rest while you place a mind control rubber chicken on my head so I will be forced to do the chicken dance!"

"Mr B...er...I wasn't going to..."

"La, la, la, la, la...I'm not listening!" Barkin yelled in a sing-song voice, sticking his fingers in his ears and running past a bunch of boxes. Left alone, Ron sighed and looked at the tiny rubber chicken in his hand.

"Man, this tanks," Ron whined. "Barkin is insane...well more insane than usual, no Kimmunicator and...I'm standing by myself...talking to...a...rubber chicken...oh man, now I'm starting to lose it!"

Throwing the chicken to the floor, Ron went back to the centre of the crate to wait for help to arrive.

**-RS & SB-**

Barkin began to hide behind a large bunch of boxes, muttering to himself furiously while figuring out a way to protect himself from the 'danger' around him. Covertly moving from one box to the other, Barkin trod on something that caused him to slip up and land heavily on his back. Groaning in pain, he looked at what he slipped on and found a teen style magazine, taking note of the front cover.

On the front was Kim Possible in her mission gear fighting Shego, taken by a photographer who managed to be at the right place at the right time. The tagline for the photograph read 'Possible's Mission Gear, Stylish and Practical'.

"That's it," Barkin said to himself, rubbing his hands as a plan formed in his mind. "I need mission gear like Possible!"

Getting on his stomach, he began to crawl on the ground and made his way over to a large box filled with returned clothes. Ripping it open he started to take off his current uniform until he was in his underpants and began to change into a large green bath robe, with a purple feather boa around his neck. To protect his head he placed a lampshade on his head and wore red three inch high heels on his feet. Hearing a moo coming from the other side of a bunch of boxes, he saw the cow standing next to Ron, who was sitting crossed legged and rocking back and forth.

"Mr Barkin, not you too!" Barkin sighed, slumping dejectedly to the ground. "Then I guess it's all up to me then."

Keeping to the shadow's, Barkin searched a few more boxes in the crate to help formulate a strategy to ensure the success of Desert Trout. Suddenly a rumbling in his stomach made him stop and clutch his abdomen, looking around.

_Great, cut off from a food supply and Stoppable has control of the base camp!_ Barkin thought. _I need food!_

Keeping to the outer edges of the crate, Barkin explored the outer perimeter of the crate and found himself nearing garden plants, stopping when he heard a hissing noise come from his right. Turning his head, he saw a Mutant Venus Flytrap growling at him and was about to lunge when he bunched his fist and brought it down on the plants head, knocking it out cold. Continuing onwards for his quest for food, he came across a bunch of searched boxes that had various foodstuffs inside. Taking a look at an opened bag of potato chips, he began to eat them and smiled at the taste.

"Oh...I LOVE MEATCAKES!" Barkin cried, furiously ripping apart the other bags and cramming the Meatcake flavoured snacks into his mouth. After gorging on the snacks he let out a yawn, his eyes feeling heavy. Back tracking the way he went, he operated on instinct and returned to the area of the crate that he knew was 'safe', falling fast asleep.

**-RS & SB-**

Ron sighed as he sat on the floor, thinking about how bad his day went. Taking a photograph out of his pocket, he looked at the picture of him and Kim on their prom night, smiling as the cow looked at the picture with interest.

"Yeah, that's my girl alright," Ron said, patting the cow gently on the head. "Man, I just wish Kim was here. She would know what to do."

The cow blinked it's eyes sleepily and began to lie down, closing it's eyes and falling fast asleep. Rubbing his eyes, Ron figured it must have been late at night and began to put the photograph away, before kissing the part of Kim's face goodnight. Curling up on the floor, Ron closed his eyes and fell asleep.

**-RS & SB-**

Ron awoke with a jolt, as if the crate was being unloaded off something. Getting up, he began banging on the sides of the crate, shouting for help before giving up. The cow gave him a confused stare, letting out a moo before resuming its stare. Sitting back down, Ron began to rock back and forth, wondering if he would ever escape the crate.

On the other side of the crate, an increasingly disturbed Mr Barkin sat in the shadows of a pile of boxes, still dressed in his 'mission gear' while holding onto a rubber chicken. Making sure he was alone, he began talking into it, convinced it was a tape recorder.

"Tuesday, thirteen-hundred," Barkin said, his eyes shifting around the crate. "I'm surrounded behind enemy lines, Operation Desert Trout is in danger."

Getting up, he peered around the corner of a bunch of boxes, spying on a worried Ron Stoppable as he sat next to the cow.

"Code name, _Ron Stoppable_ has crossed over to the enemy side," Barkin whispered, only to have Ron hear him.

"HEY! At least I'm not the one talking into a rubber chicken!" Ron snapped, followed by a small awkward silence. "This time."

Barkin stared at the object in his hand, eyes widening in terror as he realised he was talking to the _enemy_. "Rubber chicken? RUBBER CHICKEN?"

Freaking out, he began yelling out in terror as he wrestled with the rubber toy, crashing out into the open space in the crate while Ron avoided the crazed thrashing.

"NO! NOT AGAIN! MAYDAY! MAYDAY!" Barkin cried.

The cow gave a moo of concern as Ron looked at it in agreement.

"Yeah, I know," Ron said, sounding freaked. "Not looking good."

As Barkin continued crying out in terror and wrestling the toy chicken, Ron had enough and grabbed the chicken out of Barkin's hands and threw it into the corner of the crate. Barkin continued trembling on the floor, eyes wide with fear while Ron rolled his eyes.

"Stoppable...you...saved my life," Barkin said, wrapping the teen in a crushing bear hug. "Oh, thank you, thank you, thank you!"

"Ack...Mr B!" Ron gasped, eyes bulging out. "Too...tight!"

"Oh...uh...sorry about the Stoppable," Barkin said, dropping the teen to the ground. "I...uh...tend to get carried away."

"Don't mention it...no seriously don't mention it. That hug was...pretty darn creepy, especially the way you're...is that a lampshade on your head? Dude, you really did lose it, eh?"

Barkin suddenly looked at the clothes he was wearing, slapping a hand to his head in complete humiliation.

"Uh...maybe a little," Barkin said, noticing the smug look on Stoppable's face. "Alright, I admit I went a little out of my mind!"

"A little? You were crazier than Killigan on a golf course!" Ron pointed out. "Man, you got some serious rubber chicken issues Mr B."

"Yeah...well, I had a bad experience with them back in my army days. A few of my fellow squad members thought it would be funny to replace my radio with a rubber chicken for a laugh...then it esculated into something more horrific. It's best if you don't know the details."

"Okaaay, well that explains the chicken but...er...what about calling the cow Mr Barkin?" Ron asked. Barkin pointed to the name tag around the cow's neck and Ron stared in disbelief as he saw the name 'Barkin' written on it. "This cow has your last name?"

Mr Barkin nodded in confirmation, watching a smirk appear on Ron's face. Trying not to laugh he clasped both hands to his mouth and held his breath, struggling for a few seconds before finally collapsing to the floor, roaring with laughter.

"Stoppable...stop laughing," Barkin warned, trying not to chuckle. "I mean it...heh...no, really I...heh..." In the end a loud guffaw escaped from Barkin's mouth, doubling over and joining his fellow co-worker on the ground. The cow watched with it's confused expression as the continued laughing, Ron just barely managing to get his next question out.

"Q...Question Mr B," Ron giggled. "What's with..heh...the goofy outfit?"

Mr Barkin laughed at the question and wiped away tears of laughter from his eyes before answering.

"This was actually...'mission gear,'" Barkin answered, laughing again as Ron started giggling hysterically. After a few more minutes of laughter they stopped and sat down in the middle of their 'base camp.'

"So what are we going to do to escape?" Ron asked. "We got anything to bust out of here?"

"No...there was no heavy duty equipment found here," Barkin answered. "We're stuck until help arrives."

With a sigh, Ron gently leaned back on a box in defeat.

"Aw man, this tanks! I wish something would happen to get us out of here!"

A distant boom snapped them to attention, straining their ears as they listened. They could only hear nothing, except for the mooing of the cow.

"Ya hear that Mr B?"

"Must have been our imaginations Stoppable, it was nothing."

Another boom in the distance filled the air, this time a little more louder to making it clearly audible. Ron placed his ear against the side of the crate, listening to what was happening.

"Sounds like a fight," Ron said.

"A fight?...OH, SWEET HAIL MARY! WE'RE IN A WARZONE!" Barkin cried, looking terrified.

"Relax Mr B, I'm sure it's not a..." Ron didn't have time to answer when a distant crash alerted him, the rumbling of something stampeding towards the crate starting to intensify.

Ron gulped and backed away from the wall of the crate, standing next to his crazed terrified co-worker. The rumbling began to intensify as the sound of something rolling towards the crate got louder. Panicking, Ron took cover behind the cow while Barkin surrounded himself with boxes in a attempt to shield themselves. Suddenly the crash shook violently as something impacted into the side, Ron covering his ears and tightly shutting his eyes while the cow stood perfectly still, completely unfazed by the crash. The side of the crate began to creak and fell down, providing the exit they desperately wanted. With a lazy moo, the cow left the crate while Ron opened his eyes to see what was happening as the distant sound of police sirens filled the air, looking at someone he didn't expect to see. His friend, Monique.

"Ron?" She asked, a little surprised to see him.

"Monique!" Ron happily cried, glad to see someone else not insane while Barkin appeared from behind the boxes of the crate. Monique was taken aback by the manner Barkin was dressed.

"Is that, Mr Barkin?"

Leaping out of the crate, Barkin took deep breath's, savouring every lungful while standing next to Ron.

"Ah, sweet lady oxygen!" Barkin sighed, wrapping a arm around Ron's shoulders. "Breathe with me Stoppable! BREATHE!"

The doors of the warehouse they were in busted open and two men, one dressed in a blue suit and the other dressed in a cream suit appeared.

"Fashion police! Halt!"One of them yelled, taking a good look at Barkin's appearance. Barkin gulped and eyed them both suspiciously. The man in the cream suit raised his wrist and spoke into the hidden comm device in the fabric.

"Code red," He said. "I repeat, code red. Send immediate re-enforcements."

"Oh sure, now you arrive!" Monique said sarcastically.

"We're trained in contour, not combat," The man in the blue suit explained, in a matter of fact tone.

Arriving on the scene unfolding, Kim Possible walked over to her best friend, smiling.

"What's happening Monique?" She asked, while Ron's eyes widened at the sight of his girlfriend and the stylish outfit she was wearing.

"KP!" He said, taking in her appearance while another familiar voice filled the air.

"I tell you what's happening!" Kim said in annoyance, heading on over to them. "Camille attacked me!...RON!"

The two fashion police agents sighed at the sight, although not entirely bothered by the fact that they both looked the same but at the outfits. Ron looked on in confusion, baffled at what was happening.

"They both showed up in the came outfit," One of the said.

"How humiliating," The other said.

"Two Kim's," Monique gasped, looking at the identical women standing before her. "Which one is real?"

Ron stepped forward and looked at them both, rubbing his chin in deep thought as he began working out which was which. Finally he came to a decision and pointed to one of the women.

"That one!" Ron exclaimed, smiling at everyone. "Y'know I may not know where we are and what's going on but I know my own girlfriend!"

Putting an arm around Kim, the other one sighed with annoyance.

"No Ron, you don't," She said, crossing her arms and shooting the other Kim an icy stare.

"Just a minute," Monique said, taking a look at the Kim who was being held by Ron. "Padded shoes, 100% silk blouse. ARREST HER!"

"Why?" One of the fashion police asked. "I think it works."

"This is Camille Leone, your thief!" Monique said, while Ron's eyes widened in shock and sheepishly took his arm off her. The Kim doppleganger looked terrified as the police busted in and fashion police pointed at her.

"There's your collar."

Moving in, the two officers grabbed her by the arms as Ron watched in horror when the woman he said was his girlfriend morphed into Camille.

_Uh oh,_ he thought. _Kim is so gonna kill me._

"Urgh...but prison is so like, _lame_," Camille whined, as she was led out by the police. "Oh, can't I do house arrest at one of those yummy villa's in Tuscany?"

Kim walked over to Ron and Monique, while giving Ron an annoyed glance.

"Good eye, _Monique_," Kim said, causing Ron to gulp.

"Okay...look" Ron began, trying to defend himself. "The crate trappage may have affected my judgement...I was sitting with a cow!...He was talking to a chicken!...and the..."

Kim couldn't help but smile, as Ron continued to defend himself from one of the biggest mistakes a boyfriend could make while Barkin started to laugh.

"Real smooth Stoppable," Barkin said. "Try get out of that one."

"Uh, sir?" One of the fashion police said, grabbing him by the arm. "We got to take you in."

"Oh, you gotta be kidding," Barkin sighed, as he was led away by the two police officers.

"KP, I am so sorry," Ron said, putting an arm around her. "Really, I am so, so sor..."

Kim interrupted him by planting a kiss on his mouth, giggling at the dreamy smile forming on his face.

"Forgiven Ron," Kim said. "It must have been hard being trapped in there."

"I know, I think I been trapped in there for a week!"

"Ron, last time I saw you was yesterday," Kim corrected. "Speaking of which...did you have anything to eat in there?"

As if on cue, Ron's stomach rumbled and Kim rolled her eyes, taking Ron's hand in hers.

"Come on _eagle eyes_, I think there might be a Beuno Nacho around here."

**-RS & SB-**

_Middleton, One Day Later_

Ron and Kim sat at their usual booth in Beuno Nacho, enjoying a meal together. Kim finished taking a sip from her soda before starting on her salad meal.

"I can't believe you managed to get trapped in a crate," Kim said, smiling as Ron began to fidget in his seat, trying to forget that ordeal. "It's a wonder you didn't get fired."

"Yeah...well, actually someone did get fired," Ron said. "The security guard who was supposed to have been watching the screens instead of catching z's lost his job."

Rufus hopped up on the table and began chomping on a few nacho's, craming his tiny mouth with the snacks.

"On the plus side, no school until Barkin sorts out that little legal problem," Ron said, crossing his arms behind his head. "So we got a few days to just chill."

"Y'know I'm a little concerned for Barkin, I hope he's not going to get into too much trouble."

"KP, the guy wore a seriously ridiculous outfit that was seriously out of bad stylage," Ron said. "It's not like he's going to get into serious trouble over it."

**-RS & SB-**

_Fashion Police HQ_

At the photo line-up, Barkin waited while the photographer got the camera ready to take his picture for the criminal record.

_I can't believe this is happening,_ Barkin thought.

"Sir, step to the wall please," One of the officers said, watching as the poorly dress Steve Barkin stood in front of the height board.

"You are charged with mutliple accounts of attrocious fashion sense," The other officer explained.

"Uh, I'm not sure this is accurate," Barkin said, looking at the board behind him. "I'm in three inch heels."

"Which is count one," The first officer said. "Those pumps...those toes!"

"Spring calls for strappy," The other explained.

"Turn to the left," The first ordered, waiting until Barkin turned on the spot as the officer snapped a picture. "Count two, the boa/robe."

"Clearly, you didn't pull it off."

"Turn to the right," The first ordered again, waiting until Barkin turned and the other officer again snapped a picture. "Count three, the stole."

"Chicken was _so_ two seasons ago."

"Count four," The first officer said. "The lampshade fedora."

"Your parents must be real proud of you!" The second officer said.

"You realise that I..uh..don't normally dress in this manner," Barkin said, trying to clear the matter.

"Tell it to the judge pal!"

* * *

><p><strong>SC90'S Episode Follow Up<strong>

Hey there everyone! Hope you enjoyed reading this first installment of a brand new comedy series that I started up. This is going to be a huge project undertaking in which several epic chapters will be written for the first season of The Smarty Mart Adventure's with Ron & Steve. Quite a few readers would have wondered what sort of crazy antics Ron Stoppable and Steve Barkin would get up during the workplace. Expects to see a lot more stuff later on such as villains dropping by for either world conquest or shopping, I got a brilliant idea that involves Shego much later on which will take place after Stop Team Go.

Hope you guys and gals enjoyed this as much as I enjoyed writing this, feel free to leave a review for I would appreciate feedback on this.


	2. Episode 2: Raider's of the Lost Aisle

_Disclaimer. I do not own Disney's Kim Possible, I'm just borrowing the character's for entertainment purposes only._

* * *

><p>In the dark, forgotten part of the super-store, where no Smarty Mart employee had set foot in years, the silence was broken when screams of pure terror began to echo throughout dusty, deserted aisle's.<p>

"YOU JUST HAD TO GET THEM MAD!" Ron yelled, running faster than he ever did his entire life, who strangely enough he was not wearing his standard red Smarty Mart employee uniform. Instead he was wearing a khaki shirt, well worn slacks, beat up brown leather jacket and snap-brim hat; Rufus himself wearing a tiny old baseball cap that looked like it belonged to a doll.

"WHY DID WE EVER AGREE TO THIS?!" Barkin cried, wearing strange bits of decorations on his uniform and an awful load of make-up as a mob of angry chimpanzee's continued to pursue them, throwing makeshift spears made from junk laying around the store. "WHERE DID CHAD GO ANYWAY?!"

"I DON'T KNOW, I WAS TOO BUSY RUNNING FOR MY LIFE!"

Racing around the corner, the two just about managed to avoid slipping on the icy floor of an abandoned frozen goods aisle when the chimps suddenly stopped in their tracks, chattering to one another in an unsure tone of voice. Pausing to catch their breath, Ron smiled when the chimps suddenly turned around and began to flee in terror.

"Huh, wonder why they ran away?" Ron asked, taking in deep breaths. He was blissfully unaware of the terrified expression on his co-worker's face, until Barkin placed his hand on Ron's head and turned it in the direction he was looking.

"That's why," Barkin answered with a gulp, the two of them screaming in terror as a giant ball of solid ice rolled towards them.

_**Five Hours Ago...**_

A jovial tune filled the air as Ron and Rufus whistled merrily to themselves, stacking boxes of Smarty Brand Bran Flakes in the breakfast foods aisle. Ron was only on his seventh day on the job and aside from the incident with the crate, nothing else interesting happened that week. Still it couldn't hurt him to liven up the day by stacking the shelves in a few interesting ways, skillfully kicking them up in a neat order with a few trick-shots while Rufus applauded. He was just about to place another one up there with a soccer style kick when all of a sudden...

"STOPPABLE!"

"WAAH!" Ron yelled, accidentally flipping the box over his head in fright and hearing a 'bonk' as it struck Barkin on the head. Slowly turning around he smiled sheepishly as Barkin shot him a very stern look.

"Ronald, I should think you are old enough to understand that the Bran Flakes are not to be used AS SOCCER PRACTICE!" He barked.

"Uh...sorry Mr. B," Ron said, chuckling weakly. "Well...er...I was just trying to making shelf stocking more fun."

"Well its not supposed to be fun, its supposed to be serious work! Now cut back on the horse play and stock those shelves like a professional Smarty Mart employee!"

Sighing as Barkin stormed off to go do his daily rounds, Ron resumed stacking the shelves only to drop one of the boxes on the floor. Grumbling to himself as he knelt down to pick it up a huge shadow fell upon him, slowly glancing up at the towering man standing before him.

He was around the same build as Mr. Barkin yet he had a more friendlier expression on his face, which looked like some Hollywood super-hunk all the girls at his school crushed on with brown windswept hair and sparkling blue eyes. He wore a tight beige shirt with the top two buttons undone, revealing dark curly chest hair and a pair of blue jeans, with worn brown hiking boots on his feet.

"Hello there..." He said in a deep, powerful voice; glancing at Ron's name tag. "...Ronald. I'm looking for treasure hunting supplies."

_'Treasure hunting supplies?'_ Ron thought, as this was a by far the weirdest thing someone asked for.

"Uh...I don't think we got any in stock," Ron said, standing up and scratching his head. "You sure you don't mean camping supplies?"

"Hmm...I suppose I could camp here if the search takes a few days," The man muttered to himself, rubbing his chin in deep thought.

"Wait...did you say _camp_ here? As in 'making smores around a fire' like camp?"

"Yes, that's the general idea," The man said, chuckling heartily. "The name is Chad Venture, Treasure Hunter Extraordinaire. I hunt for the rarest and most exotic of ancient treasures, clues to my latest investigation leading me right here to this store!"

"Uh...I highly doubt we have 'rare' and 'exotic' treasure in this store," Ron said, using air quotes for emphasis. "Unless you're talking about our bargains...which are pretty badical."

"Then how do you explain this?" Chad said, taking out a worn, battered piece of paper that was partially burnt. "This sole document was printed twenty five years ago, referencing some sort of unofficial treasure hunt planned to take place within the store. It is the only surviving evidence of the mysterious incident known as the 'Smarty Records Fire' which to this day remains unsolved."

"Huh...how 'bout that," Ron said, examining the piece of paper before continuing his work. "But I don't know, it seems a pretty crazy idea that treasure is hidden here."

"Maybe at first it does but I also have evidence of a delivery of artifacts that failed to turn up to the Middleton Museum of History at around the same time this document was made. My theory is that it was delivered here by mistake and that an employee or employees hid the treasure, waiting to find it later on so as not to draw suspicion. I believe that 'Smarty Records Fire' was to cover up that unknown employee's tracks."

Ron and Rufus glanced at each other, wondering if Chad Venture was right or just plain crazy. Still, as unlikely as his theory sounded, there was a chance it could actually be true.

"Uh...wait, why tell me and Rufus this?"

"Well you two do have knowledge on the store's layout, right?" Chad asked, getting a nod of confirmation from the two. "So...how would you both like to be my assistants and take part in the greatest discovery in archaeology?"

"That would...be...the...BON-DIGGITIEST!" Ron said excitedly, unaware that Barkin was walking up to him.

"STOPPABLE!" He barked, making the young man jump with fright for the second time. "Cut the chit-chat with the customer, you are supposed to be working!"

"You won't believe this Mr. B!" Ron said, as he started to finish stacking the last of the boxes. "Me and Rufus are going to be treasure hunters!"

* * *

><p><em><strong>THE SMARTY MART ADVENTURES WITH RON &amp; STEVE<strong>_

_**EPISODE 2**_

_**RAIDER'S OF THE LOST **_**_AISLE_**

**_Written By_**

**_Stormchaser90_**

_**Introducing O.C.**_

_**Chad Venture, Treasure Hunter Extraordinaire**_

_**(Inspired by Actor Jim Ward)**_

* * *

><p>"Okay, so let me get this straight," Barkin said, rubbing his eyes as he tried to process the information Ron and Chad told him. "You believe this store has rare treasure that just so happened to be delivered here due to a shipping error? Now I been working here for 14 years and I never heard of any treasure here!"<p>

"Because someone must have hidden the treasure," Chad explained. "But I possess the first clue to this mystery."

"Ah yes, the _unofficial_ treasure hunt," Barkin muttered, rubbing his chin. "It could have been something a few ex-employees planned for fun back when they still worked here."

"Or perhaps a cover to recover the treasure covertly so as to not arouse suspicion," Chad theorized, tapping the burnt scrap of paper. "But if you look at it carefully, there is also a reference to a part of this store built underground that was sealed off due to...uh..._mysterious_ reasons."

"Uh, I'm probably gonna hate myself for asking this...but what _mysterious _reasons?" Ron asked, his voice dripping with dread.

"Nothing that you can't handle," Chad said casually, as he checked his PDA. "Something to do with horrible rumors like evil creatures attacking the workers and that the lower store is haunted or something."

"Oh well that's a relief, I thought it was going to be SOMETHING DANGEROUS!"

"I don't see what you are complaining about," Barkin said, crossing his arms. "You and Possible face worse worst dangers than that everyday!"

"Wait, _Possible_?" Chad said, looking at Ron with surprise. "As in _'The' _Kim Possible of Team Possible?"

"Well yeah, she's my girlfriend," Ron said.

Chad found it hard to believe that such a guy could be dating her, after all he certainly didn't look like he could face the danger the young teen heroine faced on a day to day basis. What started out as a bemused snicker turned into hearty laughter, as if Ron had told him the most hilarious joke in the history of man.

"It's good to see someone with a sense of humor," Chad chuckled, wiping away a tear of laughter.

"Hey, it just so happens to be true!" Ron said, pulling out the spare Kimmunicator he always carried in case of emergencies. "I'll prove it!"

**Over at Club Banana**

Across Middleton, at the Club Banana store in the Middleton Mall, Kim found herself quite busy replacing a series of red sweaters due to a mix up; they were supposed to be selling _Passion_ Red, not _Rose _Red. Placing the sweaters being taken down in a plain cardboard box next to the ones meant to be put on sale, she was about to finish the task when the Kimmunicator went off. Quickly answering the call, she smiled when an image of Ron's face appeared o the tiny display.

"Hey Ron, what's the sitch?"

_"Nothing KP, just checkin' to see how my 'girlfriend' is doing,"_ Ron said casually, like he always did when proving to someone that they were dating.

"Uh, Ron? Did you call me up just to prove to someone we're dating again?" Kim asked him, looking quite annoyed with him.

_"Maybe,"_ Ron said with a nervous laugh, looking like he was in for a world of hurt later.

"Ron! I'm busy right now and I got no time to waste proving our love life to skeptics!"

_"Ha, you're in for it now Stoppable!" _Barkin's voice said, off-screen. _"Alright, you proved your point now let Possible get back to work."_

_"Sorry KP, I promise I'll make it up to you later,"_ Ron said, waving her goodbye. _"I'll buy you dinner after work."_

"It's a date," She said, saying her goodbyes before ending communication. "Right now where was I?"

Looking at the two plain boxes at her feet, each one containing red sweaters that looked exactly alike, she tried to remember which one was which.

"Okay, so _that's_ the passion red and this must be the rose red," Kim said to herself, frowning in puzzlement as she looked at the boxes. "Or is it the other way around? URGH, I'm so gonna hurt Ron later!"

**Back at Smarty Mart**

"She sounded mad at you," Barkin said, as Ron put the Kimmunicator back in his pocket.

"Ah, I'll be alright," Ron said, unaware of the punishments his girlfriend was thinking about doing to him. "So where were we again?"

"We we're talking about the dangers you and Possible face on a day to day basis," Barkin reminded him.

"Oh yeah, we do face some pretty scary stuff," Ron said, counting the dangers with a free hand. "Let's see, there's super criminals, Barkin on a bad day, Bonnie on a good day, gym class and..."

With a shudder, Ron remembered another danger that made his stomach flip, turning a shade of green.

"...Cafeteria food. Yeesh, I thought I saw it moving once!"

"Quit your whining Stoppable, the food's not that bad...much," Barkin ordered, before taking the scrap of paper from Chad's hand. "Now despite your crackpot theory, Stoppable and I are bound by Smarty Mart's code of customer relations to help all customers with their needs, so if you are serious about this then we'll help in anyway we can."

"I would appreciate that..." Chad said, glancing at Barkin's name tag. "...Steve. Now if we're going to find the missing treasure, we'll need to head to the lower store, but first we need supplies! Now which way to the camping supplies?"

"That way," Ron said, pointing down the aisle they were in. "It's the aisle next to the office stationary and morale boosting cat posters."

With a cheerful wave Chad strode down the aisle, getting a few odd looks from the other customers at his eccentric attire. Sighing heavily, Barkin wonder just how Ron managed to get himself mixed up in these sort of situations.

**-RS & SB-**

It didn't take long for them to get the supplies they needed for the expedition into the abandoned lower part of the store; flash lights, medical supplies, rope, a portable mini gas stove and plenty of snacks. A huge crowd had gathered round as both Ron and Barkin shouldered their heavy back packs, staring at Chad as he addressed the customers, standing before a giant steel door with the sign 'DO NOT ENTER, RISK OF INJURY'.

"Ladies and Gentlemen, you are about to witness history in the making as these two brave employees, willing to risk life and limb just like myself, to find treasure that was once found but then lost," He said, smiling as he spoke. "But hopefully will be found again!"

"But no one has gone down there in years!" Mr. Stockwell exclaimed. "If ya go down there, who knows what'll be waitin' for yer!"

"Not to worry, my good man. I faced many dangers in my career; lost cannibalistic tribes, ferocious animals and devious traps of the most ancient of tombs. Beyond that door is nothing we can't handle."

As Chad continued his eccentric speech, much of which Ron didn't listen to as he was too concerned about what sort of danger might lurking in wait. Plus he had Barkin with him who wasn't exactly calm in sitches like this; the incident in the crate still gave Ron bad dreams! Once Chad finished his speech, Mr. Stockwell unlocked doors with trembling hands, the two swinging slowly open with an ominous creak.

"Well, good luck boys," Mr. Stockwell said, saluting them. "Happy hunting!"

"Oy, the things I do for minimum wage," Ron sighed, as he follow Chad and Barkin down into the closed off section of Smarty Mart.

**-RS & SB-**

After descending the stairs and walking through another set of double doors, the group found themselves in fairly similar surroundings. Several aisles stretched into the murky gloom, the dusty shelves empty except for old goods which never had been touched for over 25 years.

"Man, I would hate to be on clean-up duty right now," Ron said, his voice a mix of terror and awe. "Still, this place looks sort of cool."

"Remain vigilant," Chad said, his eyes scanning their surroundings. "I sense we are being watched."

"By what exactly?" Barkin asked him, jumping slightly as the sounds of something shrieking echoed up the aisle. "Oh mommy!"

In the distance they heard the sounds of more shrieking of different tones of voices, sounding erratic and excited. Much to his horror, Ron recognized the sounds as...

"MONKEYS!" Ron cried, hiding behind Barkin.

"Hmm, yes," Chad said to himself, as he listened to the distant shrieks. "They appear to be talking to one another."

"What are they saying?" Ron asked.

"Hold on, I'll ask," Chad said, cupping his hands together like that of a loudspeaker and shrieking madly like a chimpanzee, much to the concern of the others.

"This guy is absolutely insane," Ron whispered to Barkin, as Chad continued his mad hollering.

"It's a wonder this guy isn't in the madhouse."

Once he stopped he raised his hand for silence, so they could listen to the mad shrieking as it echoed up to them again. Nodding his head in confirmation, his face soon bore an expression of regret.

"Well, it appears I may have...uh...insulted their Chief's mother, who is now sending some of his warriors in retaliation," Chad said apologetically, wondering where he went wrong. "Maybe I should have tried a different dialect."

"Oh perfect!" Barkin said sarcastically. "Now what do we do?"

Without warning, a makeshift spear built from an old dirty mop flew past his head, embedding itself in the wall behind them.

"May I suggest we run," Chad said, quickly breaking into a mad sprint followed closely by Ron and Barkin, as a group of chimps came chasing after them.

Dodging spear after spear, the group fled the horde pursuing them while looking for a way to distract them. Quickly ducking into an aisle with the sign 'Cereals' in worn letters, Ron spotted several boxes of Chimptastic Banana Flavored Cereal on the shelves that would help create the distraction they solely needed.

"Quick, open these boxes of cereal!" Ron said, ripping one open and dumping its contents on the floor, a strong odor of banana's filling the air. "This ought to keep them busy for a...hey, look a free toy!"

"NOT NOW STOPPABLE!" Barkin snapped, as he and Chad helped quickly open the rest of the boxes and poured the cereal on the floor. Resuming their escape, the trio fled down the aisle as soon as the chimps arrived, halting to sniff and eat the cereal on the floor.

"BOO-YAH! I AM DAH MAN!" Ron cheered, fist pumping the air as they escaped, only to slip on a puddle of what he hoped was water when they turned the next corner, colliding into a small display of rotting food.

"Ooh, that looks disgusting," Chad said, winching as Ron start to gag at the stench of decades old processed chicken.

"Come on Stoppable," Barkin ordered, helping the wheezing teen off the floor. "Let's see if we can find you something to wear."

Once the chimpanzee's were given the slip, they stopped to make camp near an old fancy dress and party decorations department in order to rest and to allow Ron the chance to change out of his ruined Smarty Mart uniform. Toasting a few marshmallows over the small camp fire, Barkin tried to keep his spirits up but the depressing gloom of the surrounding area was hardly helping him.

"Now just where did you learn to speak Chimpanzee?" Barkin asked Chad, as the treasure hunter was reading a book titled 'How to Speak Lion in Seven Days'. "Seems like a weird thing to know."

"Oh it was something I learned on my travels," Chad said, putting the book down. "But it has proved useful over the years."

"Hey, Mr. B," Ron said, arriving at the camp wearing a khaki shirt, well worn slacks, beat up brown leather jacket and snap-brim hat. "I found this in the fancy dress area to replace the ruined uniform. Think it suits the feel of this expedition?"

Poking his head out of Ron's pants pocket, Rufus also found a small baseball cap which he found quite stylish.

"You cannot be serious," Barkin said in a deadpan voice.

**-RS & SB-**

Once they rested up, the group continued on their journey throughout the lower store as Chad led the way, following a complex series of clues into some of the most dangerous environments in order to find the other clues. They had to brave the treacherous foliage of the plants department, the row upon row of garden gnomes (much to Ron's horror) in the lawn decorations department, the extra-strong perfumes and aftershave's department and children's toy department (in which they were nearly buried in an avalanche of Cuddle Buddies) until they arrived at what could possibly be the worst destination for them.

Chimpanzee territory.

"Wait, so after barely escaping from the chimpanzees, you want us to go into their territory?" Ron said, in disbelief.

"That's where the clues point to," Chad said, putting the scraps of paper away. "Perhaps I could apologize to them. I think I understand where I went wrong before."

"There is no way we're letting you speak chimp again!" Barkin snapped, crossing his arms in annoyance.

"Uh...Mr. B, I think we got no choice," Ron said weakly, pointing to a large number of chimps holding spears.

Barkin could see Ron was right. They were completely surrounded by the Chimps and heavily outnumbered, yet if by some miracle Chad could apologize to them then they would be in the clear. Silently praying that Chad would succeed, he stepped aside so the adventurer could communicate with them. Using a series of hollers, shrieks and sign language, Chad communicated with what appeared to be the Chief of the chimpanzees, nodding intently as he listened to Chads apology.

"Wow, I think it's working," Ron whispered to Barkin.

"I know, I didn't think he could pull it off," Barkin replied.

"Right, I've successfully apologized to the Chief," Chad said to them, smiling at his success. "Now all I have to do is introduce you two to the tribe and ask if may enter."

Resuming his chimpanzee speak, Chad spoke to the small Chief chimpanzee before pointing to Ron and Barkin, quickly finishing his message. Suddenly the Chief began to holler excitedly as the other chimpanzee's began to cheer, one of them heading over to Barkin and placing a necklace made of flowers around his neck.

"Oh dear," Chad said, rubbing his chin. "Sorry but I may have made a slight miscalculation on my part."

"What did you do?" Barkin said, a worried tone in his voice.

"_Weeell_, I got good news and bad news. The good news is that none of the chimps are going to kill us."

"And the bad news?" Ron asked him.

"Uh...well, it was a simple mistake really," Chad said, laughing nervously. "I may have accidentally arranged for Mr. Barkin to be married to the Chief's mother."

"YOU DID WHAT?!" Barkin cried, the color draining from his face as a mental image of him being married to a chimp came to mind.

Rufus couldn't help but burst out into hysterical laughter, even Ron struggled to keep it together at the sight of the horrified expression on Barkin's face.

**-RS & SB-**

Deep into the heart of the chimps territory, Barkin was sweating profusely as chimps placed ceremonial decorations on his uniform as well as make-up on his face. He couldn't believe that in a few minutes he would be married to an old chimpanzee in the tent next to him, all because of Chad's poor communication skills.

"Woah, looking sharp Mr. B," Ron said, as he entered the small tent.

"Stoppable, what do you want?" Barkin muttered, as a chimp began to put an excessive amount of blusher on his face.

"I was gonna ask if you want me as your best man," Ron joked, his snickering stopping when Barkin shot him a very icy glare.

"Stoppable, this is SERIOUS!" Barkin cried. "I can't believe I'm about to be married to a chimpanzee, again!"

"Don't worry Mr. B, I got an idea to...", Ron was about to say, stopping when Barkin's words had sunk in. "Uh...again?!"

"It was back in my army days," Barkin said, shuddering at the memories. "I was cut off from my unit and stumbled into a small colony of chimps, who took me in as one of their own and...well, it's a long story, don't ask. So has Chad found a way to get me out of this?"

"Uh...well, he said if we attempt to back out of the ceremony the Chief will have us all...er...well, y'know."

"Perfect," Barkin groaned, slumping his shoulders. "Wait, what about Possible? Can you call her to rescue us?"

"Nah, I already tried but there's no signal," Ron said, tapping the Kimmunicator in his pocket. "So I guess we'll have to figure something out."

The sounds of a giant gong being hit filled the air, signalling that the wedding ceremony was commencing. With a gulp, Barkin left the tent while Ron took a seat next to Chad, who was watching the ceremony with great interest.

"Hmm, never seen chimps hold weddings before," He said, taking out his notebook and writing a few observations down.

"I wish we could do something for Mr. B."

"Yeah, well these things happen," Chad said, seemingly without a care in the world as he took notes.

Watching the ceremony begin, Ron felt his stomach flip at the sight of the bride; a old chimpanzee wearing what appeared to be a filthy wedding dress, which was puckering its lips in front of a very uncomfortable Mr. Barkin.

"Oh have you ever seen such a beautiful display of affection like that?"

"I wouldn't exactly call it beautiful," Ron cringed, feeling horrified and nauseated at what he was seeing.

Inside Barkin's mind, warning bells were ringing as the ceremony continued, knowing very well that he would soon be married to a chimp. If he ran away then the chimps would go after him, Ron and Chad but if he stayed he would be stuck with _Mrs. Barkin. _Making a snap decision, all he had to worry about was outrunning Ron and Chad in his bid for freedom.

"I DON'T WANT TO MARRY A CHIMP!" Barkin cried suddenly, turning on the spot and fleeing for his life. "RUN!"

_'Oh boy, here we go,'_ Ron thought, as he and Chad raced after him.

Visibly upset at being left at the altar, the chimpanzee started to cry while her son comforted her, chattering to one another. For those not skilled in the language of chimps, here is a brief translation on what was spoken.

_"I can't believe he left me at the altar!"_

_"I had a feeling that human was no good for you! My loyal chimps, after them!"_

Screaming in terror as they ran for their lives, Ron and Barkin never looked back, unaware that Chad took a different path. Knowing that they would provide him the perfect distraction, it would give him the chance to find the location of the treasure without any interruptions and get it out of the store. Also if he had the time, he would _try_ to rescue his assistants. According to the clues he gained throughout their hunt, it led to the abandoned frozen foods aisle in which the treasure was hidden. Upon arriving, he saw much to his annoyance a large ball of ice blocking the way.

"Perfect," He muttered to himself, frustrated at the setback. "Just perfect."

Giving it a hard kick, he heard a large cracking sound as the weak ice at the base gave way, the giant boulder of ice swaying dangerously.

"Uh oh."

Stepping aside to avoid being crushed, he sighed with relief as the ball rolled dangerously down an aisle, allowing him access to the freezer. Meanwhile Ron and Barkin were busy fleeing for their lives as the chimps continued giving chase, unaware they turned up an aisle which the boulder of ice was rolling down. Pausing to catch their breath, they saw to their relief that the chimps stopped giving chase and fled in terror.

"Huh, wonder why they ran away?" Ron asked, taking in deep breaths. He was blissfully unaware of the terrified expression on his co-worker's face, until Barkin placed his hand on Ron's head and turned it in the direction he was looking.

"That's why," Barkin answered with a gulp, the two of them screaming in terror as the giant ball of solid ice rolled towards them.

Swiftly ducking out of the way, they narrowly avoided getting crushed as it rolled past, crashing against the shelves of the aisle's. Wiping the sweat of his brow, Ron wondered exactly where the boulder of ice came from and with Mr. Barkin in tow, they arrived at the once blocked freezer where they saw Chad was going over a problem.

"Hey there companions," Chad said, smiling as he saw them arrive. "You two proved most helpful in distracting those bothersome chimps."

"Distracting?!" Barkin growled, grabbing Chad by his collar. "We were almost skewered by spears and almost crushed to death by a giant ball of ice!"

"Oh that ball of ice thing was my fault," Chad laughed weakly, pointing to the walk-in freezer entrance. "Sorry about that but at least there was no harm done. Anyway, you can now help me with a slight setback."

"What setback?" Ron asked, dreading to know what it was.

"I'll show you."

**-RS & SB-**

Opening the doors to the freezer, the two employees jaws dropped when they saw piles of frozen meat on the floor, the ice then covering the walls until it reached the ceiling from which hung hundreds of razor sharp icicles. In the middle of the freezer was a small podium of ice, with a small wooden box on top.

"It appears the ice here is very fragile," Chad explained, pointing at the floor. "One wrong move and the entire lot of icicles will come crashing down. According to the clues, the treasure is supposed to be in that box but I believe it must actually contain a clue to lead us to the real treasure!"

"Oh, perfect!" Barkin groaned, slumping his shoulders in defeat. "So we can't go in there?"

"Actually, since Stoppable is the lightest of the three of us, he has a better chance of succeeding."

"I am so dead!" Ron whined, gulping as he looked at the obstacle before him. "Okay, I can do this!"

Slowly stepping inside, Ron trod carefully across the ice, freezing when his foot brushed against a steak frozen to the floor. A small crack appeared, growing over to the wall before finally stopping, inches away from raining down icicles on him. Breathing a sigh of relief, he continued on-wards, exercising extreme caution. Watching what he considered to be the bravest employee in the history of Smarty Mart, Mr. Barkin was nervously chewing frantically at his finger nails while Chad watched eagerly, waiting to see what was in the box.

After ten the most nerve wrecking moments of his life, Ron finally arrived at the podium, examining the box carefully. To his confusion it was marked 'Treasure', which was strange because he thought it would have been bigger. Shrugging it off he tried to pick the box up but it was frozen to the podium. Pulling with all his might, he managed to rip the box free from the podium, smiling with relief when nothing happened.

"BOO-YAH TO THE RON-MAN!" He cheered, stopping when the podium cracked apart and collapsed, causing a series of cracks to travel along the floor, up the walls and to the ceiling. "Uh oh."

A large icicle crashed down, narrowly missing him by inches, followed closely by another. Screaming madly, he did his best to avoid being skewered; he was grateful that his avoidance training at Yamanouchi came in handy. Within seconds he managed to make it out, panting heavily as he held out the small wooden box.

"Man, that was close," He wheezed, as he caught his breath. "I can't believe I dodged every single one!"

"You didn't Stoppable," Barkin said, rolling his eyes as he pointed to the inside of the freezer.

To Ron's embarrassment he saw the slacks he was wearing were now pinned to the floor, ripped clean off him during his escape and showing his underwear to everyone. Luckily Rufus managed to jump out of the pocket and hide in Ron's jacket during his escape.

"Aw c'mon, really?!" Ron groaned, looking down at his underwear. "Man, I really need to sort this problem out!"

"At least you got the box," Chad said, patting him congratulatory on the back. "And because of your heroism, I believe you should be the one to open it."

"Wow, really?!"

"Well...it's not so much for heroism," Chad admitted. "I just don't know if the box is booby trapped or not."

"Oh..._lucky _me," Ron muttered, tensing up as he slowly opened the box.

As soon as light shone into the small box, they could see golden light being reflected out, their anticipation turning to confusion as soon as Ron fully opened the box. Reaching inside, he pulled out a small note of paper and a small book with gold wrapping on it.

"A..._book_?" Chad said, confused at what was going on. "What does the note say. Does it explain where the treasure is?"

"Okay let's see here," Ron said, reading the note aloud. "'Congratulations for taking part in the Smart Shopper Treasure Hunt, as a reward for your clue solving you have earned the limited gold edition of the Smarty Mart bumper coupon book.' Hey, that's actually pretty badical."

"A COUPON BOOK?!" Chad cried out, clasping as hand to his head in embarrassment. "WE RISKED LIFE AND LIMB FOR A COUPON BOOK?!"

"Hey, look on the bright side, at least we can get major discounts," Ron said optimistically, trying to cheer him up.

"Uh...Stoppable," Barkin sighed, pointing at the book. "According to this, this coupon book expired ten years ago."

Ron saw to his horror that Barkin was right, checking the date on the back of the small book. Rufus clasped his tiny paws to his mouth, knowing just how upsetting it was to Ron to have coupons that expired.

"NOOOOOO!" Ron cried, collapsing to his knees as he dramatically looked up.

"Get up off the floor, Stoppable!" Barkin ordered, hoisting the teen up by his collar.

"I'm sorry Mr. B," Ron said, wiping a tear from his eye. "It's just so sad to see coupons never be used!"

"I'm going to be a laughing stock," Chad moaned, picturing his career coming to an end. "I'll never live this down."

"Well, at least things can't get any worse," Ron sighed, only for them to hear the sounds of vicious shrieking as the chimpanzees came back.

"You just had to JINX IT!" Barkin snapped, quickly ducking to avoid a spear. "RUN!"

**-RS & SB-**

One frantic mad race to escape from the bowels of Smarty Mart later, the group of would be treasure hunters finally managed to return up top, locking the door behind them and chaining it up tight. Chad said his goodbyes before quickly leaving the store, hoping to avoid more potential embarrassment while Ron and Barkin went back to work, after Ron found a spare pair of slacks from the lost and found department. As Ron went back to his stacking duties, Mr. Stockwell came along to check up on him.

"Stoppable, why aren't you in uniform?" He said, looking at Ron's unusual attire.

"Long story," Ron sighed, reaching into his pocket to show Stockwell the coupon book. "Anyway today was a total bust. All we found was this expired coupon book."

"Hmm, let me see that," Stockwell said, examining it carefully. "Well I'll be a monkey's uncle, I heard about this rare coupon book. It's a one of a kind!"

"Wait, really?!" Ron said, perking up a bit.

"Oh sure, this is the only one ever made and I find it incredible that it remained in mint condition after all these year. Y'know, at the Smarty Mart Corporate Headquarters, Martin Smarty himself has a small museum dedicated to rare Smarty Mart merchandise and I reckon he'll be pleased to have this in his collection. Do you reckon you might part with it?"

"Hmm, maybe," Ron said, as an idea came to mind. "I was wondering if actually..."

Whispering his idea to Mr. Stockwell, the store manager smiled, nodding in agreement.

"Well, after all you been through, I reckon I can do that," He said, patting Ron on the shoulder. "Just let me make a few calls to Mr. Smarty."

**-RS & SB-**

Kim sighed wearily after a hard days work, spending most of the time trying to figure out which color the sweaters were before finally managing to stock the shelves with the correct ones. Massaging the stiff ache in her neck, she just finished clocking out when Monique tapped her shoulder.

"Kim, Ron's here and he's uh...D.L.S.W," Monique said, confusing Kim with her acronyms yet again.

"Uh...translation?"

"'Dressed like something weird,'" Monique explained, pointing at Ron who was still dressed in the outfit he changed into.

"Weird, I thought he didn't finish work for another hour," Kim said, confused at what was going on.

"Just go easy on lover boy," Monique joked. "I know he put you in a tough sitch today but it looks like he's had one too."

"Thanks Monique," Kim said, heading over to Ron to greet him with a hug. "Hey Ron, how was you day?"

"Well, it was a pretty weird as you guess from what I'm wearing," He said, pushing the brim of his hat with a finger. "Oh yeah and we're all set for a night of fine dining at the most fanciest restaurant in town!"

"Chez Couteaux again?"

"Actually I hired out Beuno Nacho for the night," Ron said, snickering at the look on his girlfriends face. "Nah, just messing with ya. Of course it's Chez Couteaux."

"Did you get Wade to jack the reservation line again?" Kim asked him, hoping he didn't have their tech support 'bending' the rules for them again.

"Nope, Martin Smarty actually," He said, registering the surprise on Kim's face. "It's a long and crazy story, I'll tell you later."

"I look forward to hearing it," Kim said, hooking her arm around Ron as they left the store.

After the crazy day Ron had, he was looking forward to relaxing after a hard day. Yet he couldn't help but wonder what happened to the real treasure that Mr. Venture was looking for but he figured it could be anywhere in the entire world.

Watching the two walk away, Monique smiled as she took the box of Rose Red sweaters down into the basement stockroom. It was a very large area, with large boxes of out dated clothes which were so many years old that had yet to be sent back, yet due to paperwork problems at Club Banana corporate offices no one came to take them away. Putting the box she was carrying in a dusty corner, she left the basement and closed the door with an audible click.

Scurrying out from a hiding place after waiting for her to leave, a small mouse scampered across the floor in search of a warm place to sleep, peaking into several boxes. It didn't like the look of sleeping on jeans or weather resistant jackets. One box didn't even contain clothes, instead it had some sort of weird statues that looked like they belonged in a museum. Paying no attention to it, the mouse instead found the box of Rose Red sweaters and after getting nice and snug, it fell fast asleep.

* * *

><p><strong>Stormchaser90's Chapter Follow Up<strong>

Before I start let me thank CajunBear73, QueenCobraWing, zzzoo99, Idri08, Neomistress and The Articourt Spellwright for reading, reviewing, faving and following.

Sorry the the day in getting the next episode of The Smarty Mart Adventures out, I been busy sorting a load of out-dated stories in my spare time and decided to finish this that I started writing almost a year ago.

Anyway I hope you enjoyed the jokes in another crazy adventure at Smarty Mart, especially the references to a certain film series.

So until next time then!

SC90


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